Speaking of Cancer…

cel·​e·​brate v. to observe a notable occasion with festivities I never look to celebrate the anniversary of my prostate cancer diagnosis, not at all. I’ve never seen it as notable, never seen it as an occasion worthy of any festivities. It’s more like something to pretend doesn’t exist, to just…elide over. And I’d never — never — […]

Continue reading

In This, My Eleventh Year

“You should write something,” she said, “like, ‘I’m still here.’” As in, I’m still alive. It’s my 11th year now – 10 years and counting – since they found cancer in my pelvic lymph nodes. In this decade of the ups and downs of cancer, I find that I pass milestones less frequently, my self-discoveries […]

Continue reading

The E and the H Words

I can’t believe I said it. I actually used the “E” word talking about my cancer. E. As in Enjoy. No, no, no. I do not enjoy — and never have enjoyed – having cancer. Cancer Sucks, as my t-shirt shouts. But there’s cancer my disease, and then there’s cancer my experience. Cancer, my disease: […]

Continue reading

Kicking the Can(cer) Down the Road

My most recent semi-annual cancer check-up came last year, quite coincidentally, on my birthday. “Semi-annual.” That’s the check-up that arrives so soon that there couldn’t possibly have been that much change in your cancer. Yet it’s also the check-up that’s so infrequent that maybe — just maybe — enough time has elapsed for something to […]

Continue reading

Of Beginnings, Odds & Ends

Beginnings Autumn, 1942. Mother is in the hospital for a hysterectomy after years of (what were then called) “female problems.” She awakens after her planned surgery, tactilely examines her abdomen but finds no bandages, no stitches — nothing binding her back together. At the last moment, there had been no surgery, no hysterectomy. She inquires, […]

Continue reading

Living with Cancer

Seven years, three months and 24 days into my cancer journey, I’ve arrived at a new way station on this indeterminate itinerary: Living with Cancer. Oh, I’ve known since pathology reported after surgery (“carcinoma in two lymph nodes”) that cancer would inevitably be a permanent part of my life, that an outright cure was of […]

Continue reading

No News Is…No News

In the written record here over the past three years, you can find a pattern to my regular cancer check-ups: January, April, July, October. Then repeat the next year. JAJO. So you might ask, where’s the report on my April 2014 check-up and PSA test? Is something wrong? Am I OK? Or as I was […]

Continue reading

Fried Chicken and Champagne

Tuesday was my quarterly cancer check-up, and we had decided some weeks prior to celebrate the occasion with fried chicken and champagne, a special gift bottle from Sue, a lovely lady and friend at the gym. Fried chicken has become a rare and special meal for me, given the low regard that fried foods must […]

Continue reading